I accepted a challenge ten years ago, never thinking that I could not raise four kids after their mum died.
Common sense, try to keep a to a budget, all helps. Having had a stern and kind pair of parents was a good idea. Although one keeps sending me emails that I thought would make her blush ‘n stutter and plain tell someone off for using that the language a while ago! The net…
Along the way people have been there for us. I have tried some counselling and medication and even tried a new relationship. All of those things may have helped steer my boat, and may not have. I like to keep some things to myself.
Still here, still going, despite personal misgivings. Still navigating a rocky stream. Still thinking I can give it a go alone.
Eldest voted last week and will be out in the wider world with a wry smile on his face too.
There are ‘commandants’ that have survived so that societies live on despite when the authorities invested in power grabbers or manipulators fail their fellow man.
Some of them I think are plain silly, but people range from intelligent and dangerous to cretins that need looking after because they can be, and these basic tenets of running a surviving society have been tested too long to obviously ignore them or for them to be wrong.
Be caring for others as much as you can. Do not allow stupid behavior, including by yourself. Think before you act. Step back and assess. Do unto others as you would like to be treated. Be fair. Don’t hurt others, leave them their belongings, attachments or relationships. Keep your room clean. Try to be honest. Change you underwear regularly. Walk, don’t run! Swing your arms when running, and stay with the pack or in front at least. Don’t pee into the wind. Look before you cross. Replace the empty toilet roll immediately and use the seat cover appropriately, and please aim. Look out for number one too. Be trustworthy, and try to trust people. Fix things yourself, save things, don’t go off killing things. Bla de blah de blah.
Once listened to a tape about building a bank of good will. Do things for people out of the blue or help them without always expecting a reward or kickback. It should come back when it has too. So I have done. Always try to do my 100% effort. Giving 110% is bulldust, jawanna burnout?
And then I rest. I like to read. I have a science fiction collection, a spy collection and funny black humour on the shelves, shelves that also have Kill Bill 1 & 2, Black Books I II III, and Black Adder I to IV. I think I also have a nasty sarcastic black cynical outlook on existence. How big is the universe? The hydrogen bomb testing in 1966 scared the shit out of a little boy who had just started school- when was the war starting again? And then that same scrawny little curious guy calculated he would be thirty-nine in the year 2000.
And then a fortune teller said I would have 6 kids!
Without my college sweetheart, the last ten years has been as if I was a dad of six. Satisfaction, justification for trials and tribulations fades, and pride arises; whenever I get a compliment out of no-where on how well my kids behave when out of my sight.