Start of the year, where has the last one gone?

Unfinished-

Realisations of the past year 5 weeks later

Eldest is voting and does not seem to really need me anymore for things or what ever, still tells me he’s going out tho, that’s manners.

Second eldest is growing up and losing some of the ugly ducking stuff was growing towards, he is getting to be a nice young man,with manners needing polishing a bit-

The girls are really catching up to my nose, still not getting email or FB privileges yet

Friends list same about- nice thing about FB and blogs I spose- reduces travel too- But made no new friends even after 2 years jobbing about- plenty more people to say hello to tho. Caught up with four long lost collge friends- that was good- just need to get a drink in with them one day.

I am:

heavier- hate that- speed-sailing ballast or not

not a risk taker- hate them- reduce it or let go

afraid of losing – but don’t mind a mess

not missing pub time

afraid of stuffing up, too clumsy or not careful enough, or don’t give a shit enough at the time.

not an actual perfectionist, or realist or pragmatist- like a shortcut to cut the bullshit out- see that a painting is a patchwork of strokes blended in such a way that good strokes or not, makes an image in your mind from just the right distance away

seeming not to want to partner up again- still sooking? the search/chase does not interest me- I told someone once that I thought I needed someone to keep me in line/ on time/ to love etc etc. I think they took it seriously and passed it on, and then I was not ready to be caught myself when I was chased and tagged. And got out of it. Brady bunch man not- maybe it was ‘look at this multiple passenger vehicle’ that clinched it for me, or broke the deal?

not liking the wheezing on quiet nights, but don’t see benefits of not smoking even after stopping a year ago, doesn’t mean I quit! as had a pouch or two anyway over the xmas break, last puff the day before in-laws flew out  (like last year’s attempt- but diff in-law tho, and they drove). But then fifty a month in the wallet not up in smoke…

a van owner- huge- poor excuse really- job good, camping/sailing better…

still missing Tarn- I live in her ‘dream house’ with our dream kids.

watching way too much telly- too many pvr’s and videos- need an extra antenna

not drinking that much anymore- compared to one period- I am dry…

missing seeing all rels/sibs but cannot really travel too much & miss speed-sailing for same

enjoying making something out of nothing-like- bare vines one season and a fine bottle of red Or vinegar or something extra later on – or beating The Man with DIY. Apart from the stove top- still waiting for that guy.

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About tone

Widowed exRigPigGeo 50yr old dad of 4 'teens', is doin' job raisin' kids, misses a lot of things. Family (close and extended) and Friends - an important part in our of life. Likes gadgets, speedsailing, reading (SF), geology/archeology, maps. Coffee monster- burnt out one espresso maker too many. Have to have plenty spare "moccona" in cupboard. Things I miss- Tarn. The rig life and income. A lot of sailing. Tarn.
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